During the 52nd British Society of Flavourists (BSF) Annual Meeting, outgoing president Trevor Groome shared a poem. Groome also congratulated upcoming president Andrea Albertino before dropping the mic.
"Now, it wouldn’t be a President’s Report from me if I didn’t include a poem to get you all revved up to get involved. So, strap yourselves in. It’s about to get weird!”
Levels of Abstraction
Our acrobatic semantics
Are nothing but necromancy antics
When the cheese monger's son
Can’t tell where his nuggets come from
And all he sells, reads enzyme modified dairy ingredients
Caused by blindly adhering to civil obedience
Check yourself before you wreck yourself
It should be “Choose your own adventure”
Allowing everyone else to choose theirs.
When discovering the cracks in the wall
Pull your finger out to fix them
The shekels have become the shackles
"Buy fair trade!" They slap on the box
War in Sudan leaves farmers to rot
We offset our environmental debt
By sending our shit to Tibet
Like a tax on shopping bags means
If you’re rich you can afford to not recycle
It’s why we pat ourselves on the backs
Only Organic in our pointless plastic packs
There’s no “welcome to legislation nation”
To those swimming from certain starvation
I used to think, aah victims of our own success
But we are not the victims, and this is not success
There are too many bones in the closet
And no space left under the rug
We fret that grandma’s not coping
And forget when the pubs reopen
A few more things about legislation
requiring more thorough investigation
Who decides what “fair” trade is
Organic’s as natural as granite
Artificial is all we’ve done since farming
And Natural Chocolate never grew on trees
This should not incite hatred
To captains of industry
Increasing their market, the only goal
Like nut free nut’s expanded appeal
They merely wished to ease your fear
Nothing unexpected or untoward in here
Just because you don’t know the speed limit
Doesn’t mean you can drive as fast as you want!
Ignorance is never an excuse.
So please stop being so foolish
Beware the levels of abstraction
But cross my heart and hope to die.
There ain't no beef in this bubblegum!
